The other day, I woke up at the crack of dawn, and threw on my suit and headed to the pool. Yes, it's the beginning of Triathlon season. After an invigorating swim, I headed for the dressing room. It was there that I was posed with a question that I have been mulling over in my mind ever since. My friend sat waiting for me, as she had already showered and was dressed. Now, the big question...to change in the dressing room, or out in the open. I have been puzzled by this dilemma for a couple of years now. If you walk over to the men's side, you'll see a flock of happy men, walking and talking and showering...naked. They don't care if they know each other or not. They don't care if they are fat or skinny. They don't care if they are hairy or bald. They are just naked. Now back to our girls side. You hardly see a naked body anywhere. The women are scurrying behind curtains and covering up with towels. Why the difference? Is it modesty (or lack thereof), is it shame (or lack thereof), is it judgements? A couple of years ago, as I began running triathlons and swimming at the pool, I thought I'd take a stand and start a revolution. I'm tired of women being ashamed of their bodies. I'm tired of us never feeling good-enough, or skinny-enough, or tan enough. So I started changing out in the open! But I have to say, I am self-conscious every time. Maybe it's because I'm one of the only ones standing butt-naked in a group of carefully covered up women. Maybe it's the strange looks I get. Whatever the reason, I try to stay strong, but sometimes I falter. So back to the other day. I'm standing there, thinking about taking my stand, (my naked stand) and my friend is sitting right there, waiting, watching. I stalled a little as I tried to decide what to do. Finally, I caved. I grabbed my stuff and went behind the curtain. When I came out, there stood my friend, talking to another fellow swimmer. Who was standing there completely naked! I shook my head, (at myself) and silently applauded the bravery of my fellow birthday-suitee. I resolved to stay strong. As we left my friend said, "It's kind of hard to have a conversation when a person is standing there naked." So, I guess the battle continues. I have to try to remain strong, to stand up for women everywhere.
To be like the guys and just be happy to be me. To be okay with my body no matter what the shape, size, or color. But for now, just give me my towel!
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6 comments:
I am right there with you Sar! We know this is no small task for me. I am always self concious, but I dress out in the open too! Why hide what we've earned right! Weather it be good or bad we are us no matter what! I aplaud your post and your effort to "get out of the curtains!"
Love you!
Tiff
Girl, you continue to amaze me! I'll never be that open and free. It's just not in my nature but i love that you are so confident in what you've been blessed with. It's refreshing! I'll stick with my curtain. DRessing with a towel is hard.
You go girl!
I have been a competitive swimmer since I was 6. Back then, I used to undress with a towel or facing the other way because I was self-conscious about my progress. However, year after year I grew more comfortable in my skin (pun intended). I think you have hit the nail on the head when you said that you need to feel comfortable with what you have and not care what others think. That is one of the differences between men and women and I think it is time for a pioneer named Sarah to change all of that.
O.K. Sarah, how do you know what the men are doing in the men's dressing room? I've never peaked in there, I sure hope they are covering up 'cause my boys are starting to swim in public pools. As to the women, I am going behind two curtains. They should install double thick curtains just for me, the kind that don't let any light through. I would be so embarassed to see a friend naked or for anyone to see me. I would just die.
I vote naked. It solves so many fashion dilemmas and cuts down on the cost of clothing. We all need to relax and quite thinking we're being judged. Just change your clothes and go on with your day. That being said, I have to say, I'm always challenged when confronted with a naked conversationalist. I have no trouble concentrating when I'm the naked one, but if I'm talking to another nudist then the casual, conversational demeanor I usually exude gets really awkward. Where do you look? How do you gesture with your hands? It's dicey. Carry on girl! You're fomenting a revolution that's been too long in the coming.
Here in Japan they have hot spring public baths and the area I live in is known throughout the country for the great baths, but I don't go. I have been twice and was uncomfortable feeling that everyone was looking at me. At first I thought it was because I am different ie white and busty. Recently I have heard friends talk about how even though everyone is naked and has gone from childhood that they still notice other people and one friend won't go because her body is not as good as before children. She says I shouldn't be embarrassed because my figure is cute, but still I have a hard time knowing that even though everyone around me is naked too, I am still judged.
But I am happy that you are comfy with who you are.
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